We’re deep into awards season at time of writing, with the Grammys, the Brit Awards and the Oscars coming thick and fast in February. Like anyone watching from home, we’re always interested in who wins, but as a booking agency for awards hosts and presenters, we pay extra special attention to the people guiding the proceedings, opening the envelopes, and making the (often awkward) jokes.
We love it when a plan comes together, but secretly, deep down, we also love to watch a show fall apart spectacularly, and for awards shows a big part of that comes from truly terrible hosting. But what can we learn from an earth shattering hosting fail? Turns out we can learn plenty, as evidenced by the following list.
SAMANTHA FOX AND MICK FLEETWOOD: BRIT AWARDS, 1989
Fleetwood and Fox are a myth, a legend, a scare story that awards show hosts tell their kids to make them remember their cue cards. From the moment they emerge on stage – Fox dressed like a Lynchian nightmare character, followed by the cadaverous Fleetwood muttering “I must control this woman” – the whole thing reeks of disaster. The pair stand out partly because of the overwhelming blandness of most Brits hosts, but also because of their sheer ineptitude, talking over each other, introducing the wrong acts and generally acting like they’ve never met or rehearsed before the big night. They would later blame faulty ear pieces for the shambles, and rewatching the footage you can see them struggling with the tech, but that hardly explains any of this.
What we’ve learned: A good production team can make all the difference. And for God’s sake, rehearse.
SETH MCFARLANE: OSCARS, 2009
The Family Guy creator’s stint as Oscar host was as crude as you might expect, but with an edge of real unpleasantness, mistaking misogyny and racism for being “edgy” in a skin-crawlingly awful performance. Audience reactions to his opening number ranged from squirming awkwardness to outright disgust and McFarlane is yet to be invited back. The Oscars, as Indie Wire notes, is a relatively conservative affair, so the attempt at near-the-knuckle humour was a poor fit. But even at an edgier event, you’d hope there’d be a bit more quality control on some of the material.
What we’ve learned: Setting the right tone is crucial, also the audience isn’t there to be insulted.
ROB LOWE AND SNOW WHITE: OSCARS, 1989
Noted fairytale character Snow White teamed up with non-fictional human being Rob Lowe for a performance that was the brainchild of Grease producer Allan Carr, and possibly one of the strangest opening numbers in Oscar history. Only snippets of the high-concept train wreck are available, and those snippets don’t begin to tell the full story. The show-opener was 15 minutes long, featuring some truly dreadful singing from Lowe, as well as a brief interlude during which Merv Griffin performed his 1950 hit I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts. Oh, and a member of the production crew would later be buried in the Snow White Dress after his death. This piece in the Hollywood Reporter is well worth a read for anyone interested in one of the oddest Oscars in recent memory.
What we’ve learned: Nothing. This sounds incredible.
JENNA ELFMAN AND DAVID HYDE-PIERCE: EMMYS, 1999
David Hyde-Pierce and Jenna Elfman set out to be, in their words, “the best hosts in the history of all awards shows ever” and the duo believed that their route to achieving their goal was through interpretive dance. Dressed in matching purple leotards the pair treated the audience to a minute or so of a surprisingly well-rehearsed dance routine. The big question is: why? What is this for? Who is this for? What is any of this for? What does it matter if someone wins an Emmy or an Oscar, or… anything?
What we’ve learned: At the wrong time, in the wrong place, interpretive dance can unravel the very fabric of your event.
JERRY LEWIS: OSCARS, 1959
It’s not often that the Oscars can be accused of running short. In fact rumour has it 2016’s ceremony is still going on now and they’ll only just about wrap up the technical awards in time for this year’s awards to start. But in 1959, with the legendary Jerry Lewis on his third appearance as host, the show was running not five, not 10, but a staggering 20 minutes short leaving the comic to adlib desperately after the closing performance of There’s No Business Like Show Business. To give credit to Lewis, he handles things better than he has any right to, but as guests started leaving the auditorium in droves, NBC still felt it necessary to put him out of his misery and cut to a documentary about pistol shooting.
What we’ve learned: Timing is everything; plan your running order to the second and stick to it. And if you’re not going to do that, at least make sure you have someone who’s willing to improvise.
BONUS “GOOD” HOST: HUGH JACKMAN, OSCARS, 2009
Finally, let’s cleanse the awards show palate with Hugh Jackman’s brilliant turn at the 2009 Oscars. Written by Rick & Morty / Community creator Dan Harmon and prolific writer-director Rob Schrab, it features home made props, dancers from Craigslist and Anne Hathaway showing the difference a non-stoned co-cost can make.
What we’ve learned: Go all out. Commit to your ideas with bug-eyed intensity and if Hugh Jackman is available, book him.
